Fast Food Romance

During my early years in Nigeria, I had a rather interesting conversation with a relative who claimed to have visited McDonald’s during his tenure in the United States, but it was clear that he had never travelled past Niger Bridge in his life, and my suspicions were confirmed when he stated that his choice on the menu was fried rice…I kid you not. His reply had me in stitches, but I always wondered why the Golden Arches were never perched on top of any zinc-roofed building in the whole country. Apparently, there was a branch in Lagos that did serve fried rice and another in the east where the cuisine included rat burgers – none of which was owned by the genuine brand, for obvious reasons. However, I was quite content with the Nigerian alternatives which included Mr. Biggs, Sweet Sensation, and my personal favourite, Tantalizers which served the best fried rice and peppered chicken in town, and their ice cream wasn’t bad either, although I still believe that Mr. Biggs’s burgers were pathetic.

Originally Nigeria’s answer to American-style restaurants where the public could relax and have a bite while watching Channel O‘s latest video, these places have fast become a rendezvous for a different breed of customer. Have you ever noticed that anytime a Nigerian man tries to ask out a Nigerian girl he fancies, the first thought that crosses her mind is Tantalizers? I know several guys who have wasted money to win the hearts – and bodies – of greedy girls who order half the menu but only nibble at a few crumbs before proceeding to take to their heels…greedy cows! I do understand that most Nigerian girls long for a stable man to support them, but do they have to be that materialistic, even when it comes to their diet? Whatever happened to good old-fashioned romance where a man wrote a poem and sent flowers? Yes, that’s the type of man I go for, but it doesn’t mean I’d fall for a poor lazy bloke…it’s all about the balance with me! It may be good business for those already thriving eateries, but guys, until she proves just how worthy her stomach is to digest those meat pies, watch your wallet!


3 thoughts on “Fast Food Romance

  1. Lol @ fried rice. Mr Biggs burgers were not great at all. I find it funny watching fast food romance in films where the girl will call her friends on her date and they end up ordering a lot. This happens while the guy is thinking “What the hell?! but pays anyway.

  2. Ha ha! I won’t lie, there was a time I persuaded a guy to take me to those outlets, and he didn’t even get a kiss in return, ha ha! Of course, I’m older and wiser now, so it’ll take more than a mere tasty fiesta to win my heart; I love to eat, but food can’t buy my love!

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