CHASING CROWNS: THE PAGEANT DIARIES-QUEEN IN DA HOUSE

Just got off d phone with Emerald n Ruby. Amethyst called from d states yesterday just before i left home. They all wish me d best of luck, but they don’t sound too convincing. Especially Amethyst. Maybe they’re just being nice. It’s alright 4 dem bcos they always look spectacular without much effort. Unlike their ugly sister who has 2 spend thousands of dough 2 look decent. I’m not as skinny as my sisters, I’m not as pretty as them either. Anytime we’re out in public people look at dem, never me. I never thought d girls at dis orientation camp would be dis skinny n pretty, n once again my fears have increased and multiplied. My only saving grace though is Mumsie, and in Nigeria anything is possible.

Dat little bitch Suzi doesn’t know who she’s playing wit in dis pageant. She didn’t even reach d top 10 when she did Miss Teen Naija, and she thinks she’ll do better here? Look at her stupid blonde hair, as if d judges would allow someone wit hair dat short to represent Nigeria at Miss World Global, lol. All these peasant bitches should watch their backs, who do they think they r? All i did was tell the truth about that black Annie who didn’t get selected. Shouldn’t a beauty queen come from a classy environment instead of a poverty-stricken neighbourhood? A girl studying catering 4 goodness sake. I’m glad Mumsie told Mrs. Kalu 2 take her out 2 make way for moi, n now black Annie’s gone she can progress 2 working in hotel kitchens.

At least i get on with one girl here. Her name is Chinonyerem, and her father is a king in Igboland. If she hadn’t pulled me away from that Mayen yesterday, someone would have got really hurt. Chinonyerem seems like a decent person, doesn’t take shit from anybody, but i’m not here 2 make any friends. i’m here 2 win. And Chinonyerem is just d girl to help me. Apparently she’s sharing a room wit dat half-caste idiot. Good, dat means i’m halfway there.

Mrs. Kalu handed us our sashes after breakfast dis morning. I’m representing Lagos. I’m one of d few contestants representing their actual state, and Lagos always reaches d top 10 in d finals. Feels good 2 finally have a sash, but i want more. I want d crown. 1 of the organisers provided us with cleanser and cotton pads 2 wipe our makeup off, and i was scared. Without my MAC, everyone can see my acne marks. I wiped off my makeup (although the pad hardly touched my pencilled eyebrows), and i noticed some of the girls giggling. Once again, i blamed fate for cursing me wit my father’s looks. Y did i even think i could show my real face in front of all these natural beauties? We also had 2 get measured 4 our grand final bikinis, and d lady measuring us shook her head at how much weight i’d gained since screening. Looks like those body wraps i had at d spa were totally useless.

Not dat i worried 4 long. Mrs. Kalu came up 2 me, smiled, and whispered everything will b alright. It can only mean 1 ting. Mumsie has a hand in it, no doubt. I don’t know how, but as long as she settles Mrs. Kalu and Diamond World properly, nothing else matters. Never mind princess Chinonyerem, queen Saff is here 2 reign.

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